Scott Alexander explores why users of a simple dating site often fail to indicate interest online but agree to dates in person, suggesting that the difficulty of asking someone out serves as a valuable signal. Longer summary

Scott Alexander discusses the unexpected behavior of users on a dating site called Reciprocity, where people can indicate interest in their Facebook friends anonymously. He notes that many users, including himself, would agree to date someone in person but not check their name on the site. Scott theorizes that this counterintuitive behavior might be because asking someone out in person is a stronger signal of interest due to its inherent awkwardness and difficulty. He compares this to systems where bureaucracy or pain serves as an active ingredient, sending a stronger signal than a simple checkbox. The post concludes by cautioning against assuming we can easily improve complex social systems. Shorter summary