Scott Alexander uses a couples therapy case to explore how cultural defaults influence our judgments on relationship issues, reflecting on the importance of culture wars in shaping societal norms. Longer summary

Scott Alexander discusses a couples therapy case involving two gay men, Adam and Steve, who disagree about non-monogamy. Adam wants to engage in kinky activities outside their marriage, while Steve insists on monogamy. Scott uses this case to explore how cultural defaults influence our judgments in such situations. He argues that in different time periods or subcultures, the 'right' answer would be clear, but our current diverse culture makes it ambiguous. Scott reflects on how this realization has made him more understanding of both cultural activists and conservatives, as they are essentially fighting to set these cultural defaults. He concludes by acknowledging the importance of culture wars in shaping societal norms, while also apologizing for potentially reinforcing stereotypes about gay couples in his example. Shorter summary