Scott Alexander argues that 'I'm sorry you feel that way' is a valid and useful phrase in certain situations, despite widespread criticism. Longer summary

Scott Alexander defends the phrase 'I'm sorry you feel that way', often criticized as a fake apology. He argues that in situations where someone is upset by an appropriate action, this phrase is a good middle ground between changing one's mind and being dismissive. Scott suggests that the hostility towards this phrase stems from 'therapy culture', which overfits social norms to benefit oneself in any given situation. He concludes that 'I'm sorry you feel that way' can be a polite and compassionate response when someone is upset by an action you continue to endorse. Shorter summary

Scott Alexander reviews John Gottman's marriage counseling methods, finding them intuitively appealing but scientifically questionable. Longer summary

Scott Alexander reviews John Gottman's book 'The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work', summarizing Gottman's methods and then critically examining the scientific evidence behind them. The review begins with an overview of Gottman's reputation and claims, then details his approach to marital counseling, which focuses on liking your spouse, communication skills, and dealing with conflicts. Scott then investigates the statistical validity of Gottman's methods, finding significant issues with his claims of predictive accuracy and effectiveness. The review concludes with Scott's personal reflections on the challenges of relationship counseling and the nature of marital problems. Shorter summary

Scott Alexander examines the problem of endless, unproductive arguments in online communities and proposes ways to mitigate them while maintaining healthy discourse. Longer summary

Scott Alexander discusses the problem of interminable arguments in online communities, particularly within rationalist circles. He argues that while it's important to challenge beliefs and seek out counterarguments, this can lead to repetitive, unproductive debates that people feel obligated to engage in. The post explores reasons why people get drawn into these arguments, such as feeling the need to correct misinformation, responding to insults, or defending against attempts to marginalize their views. Scott suggests several ways to mitigate this issue, including blocking trolls, being more tolerant of newbies, recognizing asymmetrical debate burdens, and emphasizing that there's no obligation to defend one's position on demand. He proposes moving discussions to private channels or longer-form content as potential solutions. Shorter summary