Fifty Swifties

[see: Wikipedia: Tom Swifties and Tom Swifties Written By An Author Willing To Go To Any Lengths To Make A Tom Swifty Thus Resulting In Constructions That Often Require More Work For Readers Than For The Author. All of the below are AFAIK original to SSC.]

“Pennies look really different under a microscope,” Tom said magnificently.

“A griffin is a kind of flying lion,” Tom said uproariously

“Our flight path has brought us directly above Yellowstone National Park” Tom said overbearingly.

“Obama absolutely buried Romney in the election!” Tom said intermittently.

“I grew two inches last year!” Tom said ambiguously

“I want to trick one or another rich woman into marrying me so I can steal her fortune,” Tom said consummately

“The auction is now open,” Tom said forbiddingly.

“I deny everything!” Tom said all-knowingly.

“The telegraph network was over capacity, so you’ll have to send your message again” Tom said remorsefully.

“Ender, the Formics have dug themselves into fortifications!” Tom observed trenchantly

“I’m going to miss work for the next few days, I’m stuck doing my civic duty at the courthouse,” Tom said injuriously

“The Zoroastrians seem to control a disproportionate amount of India’s wealth,” Tom said parsimoniously

“Nana seems to be developing Tourette syndrome,” Tom said grammatically.

“This prison will be the perfect place for my unethical Human Centipede style experiments,” Tom said confusingly.

“The bounty hunter was my favorite character in Star Wars,” Tom said prophetically.

“Brutha, the Great God is not just a turtle, but also within the hearts of all mankind,” Tom said ominously.

“Chelsea Manning mailed me one of her teeth,” Tom said transcendentally.

“I got a job producing another season of Lassie,” Tom said moronically.

“I was out at the brothel until after midnight,” Tom said scintillatingly.

“I’m sorry, but the lady is spoken for,” Tom said mistakenly.

“I’m going to an all-you-can-eat restaurant tonight,” Tom said forgetfully.

“The girl from my blind date last night was a 4/10,” Tom said metaphorically.

“The medication cured my autism but also made me gain weight,” Tom said fatalistically.

“I used to have to walk everywhere,” Tom said precariously.

“Hades seems like a pretty credible guy,” Tom said disbelievingly.

“That commercial really helped spread awareness of the risks of intelligence explosions,” Tom said admiringly

“To think this entire tree grew from a single nut in just a few years,” Tom said exceedingly quickly

“I got selected for the role of Juan Peron in an Andrew Lloyd Webber musical!” Tom said inevitably

“After playing Juan Peron, no one ever cast me in a play again,” Tom said exactingly

“SAT scores should be given more weight in college admissions,” Tom protested.

“I will start a campaign to convert @aristosophy and @donovanable to Catharism,” Tom would prognosticate.

“The Notorious B.I.G.’s death was a predictable result of his career,” Tom would rhapsodize.

“The zoo’s exhibit on African wildlife was a big disappointment,” Tom said hypocritically

“It’s the Leviathan!” Tom said superficially

“I’m afraid you’ve got an atrial septal defect,” Tom said whole-heartedly

“I first met my wife in the restroom at a bar,” Tom said accommodatingly

“I picked up a nice new casual shirt,” Tom said apologetically

“The cat-goddess is a threat to the American way of life,” Tom said bombastically.

“I can’t figure out how to stop our boat!” Tom said cantankerously

“Satan is the original source of evil,” Tom said urbanely

“I can slay the Jabberwock,” Tom said demonstrably

“I realize I missed the meeting by two whole hours,” Tom said isolatedly

“Kosher kitchens need separate plates for milk and meat,” Tom said judiciously

“Bill Clinton got a divorce!” Tom said exhilarated

“Lower-ranked demons can kiss my ass,” Tom said imprudently

“Help, I got stuck inside this cattle pen,” Tom said inoffensively

“My throne sits on the floor,” Tom said lackadaisically

“It costs one thirty cent stamp to send one letter,” Tom said permissively

“I forbid you to take the ladder to the topmost room of my house,” Tom said anti-climatically.

“Ho ho fucking ho!” customarily.