"But" vs. "Yes, But"

This is another heuristic from the same place as If It’s Worth Your Time To Lie, It’s Worth My Time To Correct You.

If someone proves you are absolutely, 100% wrong about something, it’s polite to say “Oh, I guess I was wrong, sorry” before launching into your next argument.

That is, instead of:

“Trump is too corrupt and scandal-ridden to be president! He was responsible for the Watergate break-in!”

No, you’re confusing him with Richard Nixon.

“But what about January 6th?”

…better would be:

“Trump is too corrupt and scandal-ridden to be president! He was responsible for the Watergate break-in!”

No, you’re confusing him with Richard Nixon.

“Oh, you’re right, sorry. I agree that’s wasn’t Trump’s fault and I’m sorry for getting it wrong. But still, what about January 6th?”

I guess that example sounds so fake and contrived that I’ll break my usual policy of not shaming specific commenters and provide the real-world equivalent. Someone wrote a blog post where they argued a certain calculation showed that the chance of a technological singularity in our lifetime was only 0.33%. I retraced the argument and found that if you did the math correctly, it was actually about 30%. Here’s the comment they left on that post:

Cool thought, but I wish it had started with “Okay, you’re right and I’m wrong about the math, but I think you really want time machines and…”

Why? I don’t have as many specific arguments here as for the IIWYTTLIWMTTCI principle, but I think it’s good to make the mental update of realizing you were wrong about something, so that if you notice yourself making that update constantly you can reassess your overall level of conscientiousness.

And it’s good for your interlocutor to realize that they’re not just speaking into a void, that you’re capable of admitting fault, and that it’s a real discussion with potential win criteria instead of them getting bombarded again and again until they go away.

Most people hold most of their beliefs for more than one reason (is this mysterious?). It’s fine to admit that one of your arguments was wrong, while continuing to believe the same thing as before. But I think for the sake of other people’s patience and your own ability to eventually change your mind, you should take note and increment exactly how many of your arguments are getting disproven.