Apr 27, 2021
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Verses Written On The Occasion Of Getting The COVID Vaccine

To the tune of the prologue to Les Misérables
3 min 152 likes 456 words 340 comments
Scott Alexander writes a humorous poem about getting the COVID-19 vaccine, set to a Les Misérables tune, exploring lockdown frustrations and the complexities of returning to normalcy. Longer summary
This post is a creative writing piece in the form of verses set to the tune of a song from Les Misérables. It humorously depicts the experience of getting the COVID-19 vaccine and the conflicting desires between citizens wanting freedom and epidemiologists urging continued caution. The verses highlight various frustrations with lockdowns, and end with the narrator receiving the vaccine but still being advised to follow restrictions. The piece concludes with the narrator expressing a sense of freedom and resentment towards the FDA for delays in vaccine approval. Shorter summary

To the tune of:

CHORUS OF EPIDEMIOLOGISTS:
Lock down, lock down
Show mercy if you can
Lock down, lock down
To save your fellow man

CITIZEN ONE:
The spring is here
The sun is in the sky

CHORUS:
Lock down, lock down
Or thousands more will die

CITIZEN TWO:
I've done no wrong
I want to cut my hair

CHORUS:
Lock down, lock down
The virus doesn't care

CITIZEN THREE:
A single hug
One hug is all I ask

CHORUS:
Lock down, lock down
Six feet and wear a mask

CITIZEN FOUR:
When I get free, you won't see me
Here for dust

CHORUS:
Lock down, lock down
We're sorry, that's the rule

CITIZEN FIVE:
How long, O Lord
Before my kids have school?

CHORUS:
Lock down, lock down
Show mercy if you can
Lock down, lock down
To save your fellow man

NURSE:
Now bring me patient number twenty-three
You will be getting your vaccine from me
You know what that means

ME:
Yes, it means I'm free!

NURSE:
No!
Large gatherings could still transmit
You're still at risk

ME:
I'm thirty-six and fit!

NURSE:
You're in the herd

ME:
I barely leave my room
My social life is close to death
And I've been stuck here -

NURSE:
- You'll be stuck again
Unless you learn to value expertise

ME:
I know the value of these thirteen months
Because of expertise

NURSE:
Two days to find the key
The rest, because bureaucracy
Yes, patient twenty-three

ME:
Time’s up, I’m gonna go

NURSE:
And here's your passport
Do not forget your card
Do not forget it
Patient twenty-three

CHORUS:
Lock down, lock down
New variants are near
Lock down, lock down
You'll always live in fear

ME:
Freedom is mine. The earth is still.
I feel the wind. I breathe again.
And the sky clears
The world is waking.
Drink from the pool. How clean the taste.
Never forget the year of waste.
Nor forgive the FDA
For what they've done.
They are the guilty - every one.
The day begins
And now let's see
What this new world
Will do for me.

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